Puppy diaries 3 - “Don’t be a South Asian mom?!”

Rumi is a picky eater.  Every morning I take him out to do his business in the backyard and then put out his breakfast of kibbles and water by the large French window in the living room upstairs.  He joins me as we watch the world go by from our little perch.  Humans with puppies and babies in prams evoke excited squeals and an occasional bark from him.  He is quite ADHD so often wonders off in search of his toy or to nibble on wires, furniture or any hair ties or clothes within his reach.  He chooses to completely ignore the food as I sit there observing my restless desire to have him clean out his plate, a vestige of that South Asian mother in me.  I did not realize this until my daughter popped up on to a scene where she saw me holding food in my hand and pleading with him to eat and said “don’t be a South Asian mom, once was enough with me”!  And she was not joking!  I have to admit I have a lot of work to do to get over my habit pattern of nurturing with food.  This is hard.  I have to bring a level of detachment that does not seek the “satisfaction” of having a well fed puppy.  I literally have to steel myself from trying to hand feed him as I had done my baby!  I am noticing at a subtle level the rationalizations that keep popping up - if he is hungry he will even more indiscriminately nibble on garbage, he will not sleep well and will have more zoomies scratching and biting everything in sight; he will be more ADHD and his learning will be delayed!  And the guilt - maybe we were not giving him what he likes.  Maybe I should make fresh food for him.  Should we try raw?  Endless questions..

What is interesting is this.   Watching this mental chatter is helping me uncover patterns.  A few days after I began noticing, my mind calmed right down.  I was able to bring about some equanimity to his picky eating and our early morning pantomime continues with Rumi a little less restless.  Maybe I am projecting how I am on to him or he is actually responding to how I am.  In any event, the dance continues and there is joy in being present to everything that arises and passes as I let go of doership...