Days, 2,3,4 - more Chennai experiences

Day 2

Had the obligatory pedicure at the nearby salon. I was tempted to have a facial but the steamer would not work. I realized this was the Universe's comment on the absurdity of my impulse given how much I was sweating! I love chatting up the girls who work hard on middle aged women's bodies, cajoling them with creams, potions, wax and sheer physical effort, to make us more presentable. I am always tickled when they pull out their range of skin lightening products and speak glowingly of the bright skin tone which will be our lot. I politely refuse, petrified of the harmful chemicals that would mutate my skin cells to make them lighter. India's fascination with light skin has spawned a multibillion dollar industry. The young girl who worked hard on my feet was from Bhutan. I searched in the deep recesses of my brain to come up with its capital city and asked if she was from Timpu? She was suitably impressed and answered in the affirmative. I was fascinated by it's status as the country with the highest levels of happiness. I had watched a movie taken by a Rinpoche called "Waiting for Heaven" set in its lush mountainous terrain. in the "magic realism" genre. There was a gentle strength and sincerity to this girl who had travelled far for her livelihood. She liked Chennai she said - heat and all. I tipped her handsomely and said I would be back before I left. Later in the evening, bearing sweets I visited 4 uncles and aunts. Their average age 85 years - 4 out of 5 live by themselves, and 2 do not even have outside help. I was happy to see them all healthy, sharp, mobile and more or less ailment free. It has to do, I am sure, with the weather, their diet and disciplined lives without any excesses.

Day 3

Went by in a blur. I decided to skip lunch as part of my observance of a fast. Not a great idea since I was hungry and tired from the 43 C temperature sapping me of what little energy I had. There was a sale of sarees at the temple and a mad rush to buy them. These had adorned the goddess just once and were now available at throwaway prices. Not to be outdone, my mom and I picked up three. Later that evening Suku and I had dinner with friends we have known all our lives. Our generous hosts tickled our palates with pickles from mangoes and limes grown in their lush garden, besides cooking up a variety of delicious mostly vegan eats- rice noodles with coconut, peas and coriander, steamed savoury rice cakes, veggies in coconut sauce and another in tomato sauce, pomegranate and peanut salad and rice with yoghurt, seasoned with mustard seeds and green chillies. For dessert we had frozen kulfi seasoned delicately with rose petals from their garden. Yum, especially following my day of fasting. I was now feasting. Nothing in moderation for me. Our conversation meandered until we ended up talking about what some amazing young folks are doing in India. One of our friends' kids has returned to Chennai after completing her PhD in Math from Columbia University in New York. She has since completed her post doc from the Math Science Institute here, has learnt to weave from local artisans, is learning to chant ancient Vedic mantras, all while working as a Math lecturer and teaching poor kids in the villages Math so they develop a love for it. Chennai is the heartland of all forms of art and culture and she has found her life's passion, to teach Math, in this place that she loves. How cool is that?! Another runs a popular online newspaper wholly financed through fundraising, on local issues that matter, simultaneously educating the public on electoral politics and encouraging civic engagement and activism. And on and on.

Day 4

I had my sister check out my teeth and took my niece out clothes shopping. We had coffee at a Starbucks. Yes there is one here!! It's odd how people, me included, will go for a brand in a city which prides itself on the quality of its world famous filter coffee. We were definitely not there for the coffee but for the Starbucks experience in our ancient city. The ambience is particularly unique since the city is still deliciously disconnected from the rest of all industrial advancement. So, sitting in a Starbucks cafe in Chennai is like stepping into the 21st Century while living in the 20th. Of course, a lot has changed with smart phones and Chennai's launch into the digital age. However, if you don't work here it still remains a throwback to a time long ago, where the thousand year old temples have throngs of ardent devotees, the street vendors and storefronts still ply their wares and time stretches at an infinity slow pace, punctuated by mealtimes when everything served is cooked from scratch! In the evening I checked out the local yoga studio, a testament to Chennai's growing modernity, to start classes soon. In the evening I helped prep veggies for an elaborate meal at home tomorrow! Bitter gourds, broad beans, cluster beans, banana tree bark, yams, sweet potatoes and cucumber for dishes which comprise 6 tastes (arusuvai) - sweet, sour, bitter, salty, astringent and pungent. Each has a function such as bringing joy (sweet), hydrating (salty), purifying blood (bitter), aiding digestion (astringent), purifying digestive tract (pungent) and stimulating hunger (sour). Our ancestors who brought Ayurveda to the world, had cracked the code on food as medicine, while not compromising taste and while actively engaging all our senses in the culinary experience. I will post the menu tomorrow!

My first day in Chennai

My first day in Chennai. I must have sweated a gallon of water. After each of my two showers I was soaked in sweat within seconds. This is not a bad thing if I stay hydrated. The brightness of the sun lifts up one's mood and everyone seems so optimistic, despite the discomfort. The traffic is heavy with everyone out in the streets enjoying their day off. Where do they all go? To the temples, the beach, amusement parks (nothing fancy), tourist stops and restaurants. The city has tourists who come here to see the ocean. There is so much on offer at temples that seniors congregate there in the evenings. Yesterday I was at the neighbourhood temple where a religious discourse on one of our ancient literary Tamil texts was in progress. The average age of audience members was 80. Which brings me to a little titbit, a lot of folks are chugging along in their 80s and 90s - a few even touching a 100. Talk about optimism - I was also stupefied by the accounts of my mother's companion, a woman who works outside, but stays with mom board free in a mutually beneficial arrangement, and her pursuit of her second year of a bachelor's degree in Tamil, through distance learning. She must be in her forties and yesterday she had travelled 2 hours each way via public transport to check out the test centre for her exam in 2 weeks. She said there were 55 of them who went out, several of them working class women pursuing a higher education with kids, full time jobs and mothers in law. Impressive!

There is a lot sickness, poverty and misery that is not immediately apparent, but there definitely is some truth to the maxim promoted by many doctors today "make life a little harder", given how well folks thrive, despite all the odds.

I ate mangoes from the in law's yard and wore a string of jasmine in my hair, from our own jasmine creeper, strung together by the help. I watched coconuts being plucked, peeled grated and added to spinach and enjoyed the pleasures of wonderful home cooking.

I spent the afternoon chatting with my sister who came over to mom's for lunch and we got caught up. I fed the brood of crows by my mom's kitchen / all of whom she spontaneously feeds and hydrates to help them cope with the heat. I went to the temple with her and at the altar a woman, another temple goer, approached me out of nowhere handed me flowers, fruits, betel leaf and nuts and said "may your auspicious wishes be granted. May you live long and happily married". (What can I say - patriarchy!) She had singled me out for this benevolence - I was touched. It was a good start to my stay here.

A cosmic connection

About 15 years ago I met a young man who had newly arrived in Canada. He was looking for a lawyer and someone introduced him to me. He was buying a house and asked if I could handle his real estate purchase. He was single and brought his parents, who were visiting, when he came over to sign documents at my home. In those days I straddled two careers, my job at MCIS and a sole practice out of my home. Very soft spoken and pleasant he was an emotionally balanced and low maintenance client. I still remember two things about him - he answered the phone with the short form of his name, which was the name of a feminine Hindu goddess. I was struck by the ease with which he identified himself with a woman's name! He also bought a house on a street which was named after the cosmos. He often called me for little things after that. But a year or so after that first encounter I did not hear from him again. His parents were in search of a suitable girl for him and even mentioned this to me. He had just one sister in the States and if he was married off, their life's work would be done, they said. The deal went through smoothly and his file like others languished among my archived files. I forgot about him until about 4 months ago. I often think about all the people who have passed through and continue to wonder what has become of them. I concluded he must have married and settled somewhere. In an exercise 6 months ago, deciding which files to keep, I had set his aside among the scan and discards. 15 years is a long time.

Then 4 months ago, a phone call from a man who identified himself as his dad. "Oh" I said, "I remember you well". In a flash, it all came back. He said "I am calling from California. My son died 2 weeks ago and I am helping his wife get his affairs in order." I was stunned. I had to sit down. So many thoughts went through my head. How is this dad able to think and act practically after such a great loss. A parallel thought was, he had been "persona non grata" till a minute ago and now the flood of memories brought out so many emotions pointing to the relative and contextual nature of all experience, in a purely Vedantic sense. Responding to my stunned silence, he continued "he had a flu and cough and called in sick on Monday because the cough had kept him awake Sunday night. We talked Monday morning, when he called me in India. A few minutes after the call he just fainted. My daughter in law called the ambulance but within half an hour in the hospital, he was gone. My daughter is a doctor, he had been in touch with her and there had been no cause for alarm. We really don't know what happened. You remember how we were looking for a girl to marry him off to? Well he got married soon after and has three children."

Fast forward to now. His wife has since been in touch as I help her navigate the system here. I have never met this girl but feel such deep compassion for her not only because of her circumstances but because of the nice person he was. Who knew the cosmos would connect us in this very strange way!