Saturday, May 30, 2015

Sunday reflection 16 - The Smug Non Resident Indian



Recently, I had an epiphany about my life as a first generation Indian in North America. This has been further reinforced in gatherings I have attended. We believe we have the best of all worlds. We imitate the superficial elements of life as lived in India. With food, temples and Indian finery ubiquitous in cities like Toronto and even in smaller locales, we don’t feel the need for India any more. We have all the trappings of an upper class life right here – the supermarkets with every possible Indian food item, restaurants, grand banquets and shaadis, cable and online access to Indian TV, the local bangra events, Bollywood/Kollywood extravaganzas, classical music, ghazal and dance concerts, bharatmatrimony, street food fairs, chaat experiences, langar at gurudwara, puliyodarai at temples and movie theatres which participate in global releases of Bollywood blockbusters. And then to assuage our guilt we raise money for causes in India. We also make that occasional trip to experience Jaipur, Agra, Kerala or to take in a yoga retreat and come back with more of the latest stuff, which we may have missed out with the shops here not having caught up.

Our children have attended ivy league schools or have stellar careers, are scaling the corporate ladder and breaking glass ceilings, are in blended marriages and every wedding has white, Chinese and black women in sarees and all these men in kurtas. Mainstream organisations celebrate diversity with all things South Asian – samosas, bindis, Indian clothing and music. We wear our Indian-ness with pride and speak with confidence about our cultural practices, where in the past we tried desperately to blend in. Our kids look like us but are nothing like us. Their values and lifestyle micmic the average North American’s and yet they give Indian-ness a good name just by how they look. Our confidence thus buoyed, we live out visually more Indian than ever before. And yet? Are we really Indian with all these superficial feel good experiences? We have not really experienced India in years. Haven’t drunk its water, withered from its heat, suffered its politics, the congestion and pollution or witnessed large scale injustice and the suffering of those who have nothing. In short we do not experience any of the pain of being Indian and just cherry pick all that provides us entertainment and a nexus to mobilise around an answer to that call to our womb. We are shallow at best and hypocrites at worst. We are smug from having found the perfect formula to maintaining our identity as Indians in a foreign land. However, we are not that. We have spent years re-making our identities, acquiring our accent, compromising to redefine our Indian-ness and have mutated into beings that could not survive in India. We know none of its subtlety, relying only on sound bytes from popular media and stereotypes from our short trips. We have not had to adapt and negotiate conflicts or to fight for basic amenities and rights. Our kids make no bones about their lack of Indian-ness. We, caught in between, fit in nowhere except in artificial cocoons created by us to comfort, insulate and ease us. Do we have much to be smug about?!


Thursday, May 21, 2015

Facilitating community conversations!


Arriving late, we only got to watch the last part of the heart-warming Cyber - Seniors in the beautiful Sanctuary Room of the Davenport Perth Neighbourhood Community Health Centre. A church converted into a community space, it has stunning ambiance with its stained glass windows, wooden rafters and high ceiling. Usually there is a facilitated discussion after the film.

However, this time around, the volunteer run advisory committee of said centre had group activities planned where they asked folks to get into discussion groups of 6 to 10, come up with ideas for community building and action. The suggestions from the 5 groups ranged from the creation of resident associations to karaoke nights, community conversation spaces, a Latin festival and social clubs. People of all ages engaged in this inter-generational activity.

A model city needs these kinds of gatherings and even though Toronto is better than most, we do wrestle with the problem of social isolation. MCIS and Doc Institute ,with support from the Ontario Trillium Foundation, were delighted to help facilitate tonight's conversation and we are confident the advisory committee of DPNCHC will carry the ideas that were generated and bring them to fruition. They have wonderful programs - visit their site and do not hesitate to get involved!

Also, be inspired by watching or participating in Cyber- Seniors screenings - a project that has now spread to several communities across North America! Become a Mentor, a Cyber- Senior or a Partner , and help spread the word about "the wonderful things that can happen when generation gaps are bridged, and new ways of connecting are explored".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRaEDVxf3j4

Friday, May 15, 2015

Vulnerabilites of a modern day sex slave



On Wednesday, May 13, 2015, I presented on the topic of Sexual Violence and Trafficking at the Impact of Family Violence Conference held at Ottawa University (May 13-14) in our nation’s capital. We had light streaming into the greenhouse like glass board room which overlooked the lush green of early spring and the Rideau Canal, with its crystal clear water. A halcyon day for such a sad and dark topic. And yet with a group of passionate participants the discussion was probing, animated and sometimes contemplative. We were there to understand together what the nature of modern day sex slavery was where a perpetrator harbours and violates individuals’ human rights with threats of violence, to their personal being or of persons close to them, for personal gain. Who is most vulnerable? Its young girls and women, young boys, children under the age of 16. The indigenous population is disproportionately represented and most trafficking, contrary to popular belief, is domestic not international. A typical story may evolve like this. A young person is lured by someone she believes she is in love with. He plies her with gifts and then increases her emotional and financial dependence on him. Often he gets her hooked on drugs and then makes her repay the debt she owes by prostituting herself. There is use of physical violence and threats of violence to keep her enslaved, completely altering her perception of reality and debilitating her independence. The perpetrator lives off her avails and sometimes gets her to become the “bottom bitch” to ensnare into the “game”, and control, other young girls/women like her. Sometimes he gets her to engage in illegal activity such as credit card fraud and drug trafficking and uses these as additional threats to keep her psychologically bound.

As the discussion progressed we all recognised that a survivor may not self identify as a victim of trafficking and hence getting her to leave is an extremely sensitive and tricky issue that has to be done with a “do no harm” approach. One has to carefully weigh the potential harm in any solution before offering it up. The best approach is therefore to address their basic needs for food, shelter and sleep because tackling the big issues relating to their physical, psychological and emotional well-being could take years. With the commodification of sex on a global scale and the thriving porn industry controlled by large mafias this issue has to be addressed at many levels. Sadly though, perpetrators of domestic trafficking may be local gangs or even sole operators such as "boyfriends" or, in some cases, parents! We had more questions than answers at the end but did recognise the need for strategies in Prevention, Protection, Prosecution and Partnership as common themes among agencies that are set up to help.

In India the circumstances may be different but the basic elements of the trafficking crime - kidnapping, harbouring, controlling and violating all forms of human rights for personal gain and profit - are essentially the same!

Coincidentally, on the day I was presenting, the following news item made headline news in the National Post.
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/migrant-sex-workers-caught-up-in-ottawa-sting-facing-deportation-further-exploitation-activists

As a first step let’s all learn a little more about this issue by taking MCIS’Online Training to Address Human Trafficking. It is rich with videos where survivors tell their stories!
http://helpingtraffickedpersons.org/

Impact of Family Violence Conference is an initiative of the Social Services Network
http://www.socialservicesnetwork.org/