A scene at the neighbour's

Today I witnessed a sight that no one should see and remain silent about. I had the morning off and Utta and I were going to the MTO office to have her car transferred to me. As I came out of the shower I heard screaming and loud cursing outside my bedroom window. The next door neighbour was about 200 feet away and I was startled that his voice had carried so far. It was unnatural screaming by a man who was angry to the point of being deranged. It emanated from his lower belly and echoed through our quiet neighbourhood. I could not see anyone because of tree cover. We were getting late so we hurried out just slowing our car to catch a glimpse of the scene at the neighbours. A short squat young man was standing outside continuing to scream. A slight female body disappeared out of sight inside the house. I have seen two young children and old folks in that house before, but they appeared not to be around or were cowering in mortal dread - somewhere. My husband knew the screamer because he owned a large auto repair business in the neighbourhood, to which we had brought our cars. When the angry rants reached a crescendo, Utta said " this man needs anger management treatment". We could not make out his accusations but he appeared extremely disturbed, spewing profanity and making wild, broad and general accusations that appeared to be directed at his spouse. What is shocking to me is that I as a neighbour did not think that my immediate priority was to call the police. I was lulled into a sense of apathy by the apparent "civility" of the surroundings - a high end neighbourhood where people are generally polite with each other when they take their dogs out for a walk or tend to their neatly manicured lawns and yards. Nothing untoward could happen here on a beautiful summer day. I also did not think it was my place to intervene. I treated it as a family matter. This realisation came as a shock to me, later in the day when we returned home to find two police cars parked outside. The house had become a crime scene and the police photographers were in gathering evidence. There is no one in the house now. We could not speak to the officers to find out what had happened because they were busy and we were rushing between errands. But I sleep now with a heavy heart not knowing what transpired. I did not know them and do not know anyone who knows them. I may have averted or minimised a disaster. But even if it had occurred to me to do something - would I not have placed our family at risk turning this violent man's attention onto us? There is no telling what he could do when he lost control like that. I work in the area of domestic violence and yet my actions belied all my awareness and training !

Playing Politics without Principles

This quote from Gandhi prompted me to write this piece:

"The things that will destroy us are:
politics without principle;
pleasure without conscience;
wealth without work;
knowledge without character;
business without morality;
science without humanity; and
worship without sacrifice."

Mahatma Gandhi

Edward Snowden has brought America on its chin. A delicate looking young man who suffers from epilepsy has the mighty nation of America scrambling. Was it really asleep when he left Hong Kong for Moscow? Or could it just not make up it's mind how to respond to a man who has come to symbolize the citizen's right to know in a democracy? In a somewhat delayed reaction, after revoking his citizenship, they are now hunting him down publicly with unprecedented zeal.

I don't know what my views are about Snowden's judgement. He may have been somewhat misguided in his idealistic view of American democracy. I have seen more years than him and know that a country like America cannot propagate notions of freedom, liberty and equality or grandstand as a world super power, with that power being quickly eroded, unless they are also engaged in covert espionage over countries that are closing in on them with opposing ideologies and notions of how countries and citizens should be governed and managed. China is a case in point. So what exactly is America the mighty trying to prove going after this slight young man who betrayed his previous employer, the National Security Agency by blowing the whistle on their surveillance of Americans and other nations? Making an example of him for the rest of America, lest this should set a trend? Flexing their muscle at nations that dare challenge their right to bring down the heavy hand of reprisal on him? Or using this as a litmus test to gauge their stature and bargaining power on the world stage? It may be all of the above. Sadly, what it is not doing, is demonstrating how their actions uphold the lofty principles enshrined in their constitution.

America is reacting not from a place of principles but of fear. When a nation plays politics without principles and lacks clarity of conviction, then it loses the public relations battle, its stature as a leader and the trust of its citizens. Needless to say, such actions do not engender patriotism - quite the reverse. This occurrence could have been handled with dignity and grace. As things stand it will go down in history as that watershed moment when America lost face on the world stage, lost the trust of its citizens and lacked the leadership to play politics with principles.

Living without judgement

I would much rather be scheming disruptive technologies that merit consideration by Google X or plotting the next big iPhone app (ok I am getting ahead of myself! But I got your attention didn't I?!) Instead, I waste time judging myself and others. I have therefore decided to save time for intellectual pursuits by living life without judgement. The idea has always appealed to me, but practise it, I have not. When I recently decided to do something about it, I began by noticing my tendency to make flippant remarks, laden with judgement of myself and others, which were intended to be funny but where the humour was completely lost on the audience and words hung in dead air.

I also realized that I engaged in small talk to fill awkward silences. And I filled them with criticisms of all things minor or major, albeit impersonal. "The weather is lousy.. that restaurant was great but the service was slow.. I love City x but hate City y". I purposely searched out themes that people would agree with me on. I scored on the approval front, but let the conversation degrade with the other person playing along in the same vein.

The worst kind of judgement I have indulged in, is of others, as dull, incompetent, conniving, selfish, fat, controlling etc. I am by no means unique because in most company such remarks are open season. As a society , we thrive on such behaviour because it makes us feel superior and better, strokes our ego and vitiates our need to do anything deserving of high honours or praise. After all, are we not perfect already with no room for improvement, while everyone around us is flawed, inadequate and lacking?

Judgement not only stunts our personal growth, it stunts the growth of others- most of whom are not strong or mature enough to challenge others' view of themselves. They actually live up to others' judgement of them - maybe as a self-fulfilling prophecy? Also, it limits how we interact with one another given the assumptions and stereotypes our conversations emanate from. Would it not be great if all our lives were lived with no judgement but with pure intellectual curiosity? Where, we came into and left situations with no expectations, just compassion and attentiveness? Where we were scrupulously aware of what we said to one another and of our body language and cues as we observed each other? Where we could all be unselfconscious, safe and at home around each other?

How then do I plan to achieve this?

For starters, I have been receiving solicited and unsolicited advice on what I have done, its impact on others and what I need to change. Second, I have observed my compulsion to talk for the sake of talking and practised the Zen art of listening instead. Last but not least, I am cultivating open minded, honest and courageous living where I do not consciously expect anything , judge anyone or seek the approval of others!

Our first Time at a Symphony

My husband and I went to a Toronto Symphony Orchestra concert tonight, the eve of our anniversary! He picked me up at work, we ate at a falafel place and arrived at Roy Thomson Hall, a marvelous venue with amazing acoustics and over 1500 seating in the heart of downtown Toronto. Contrary to our expectations the crowd was demographically diverse, casually dressed and musically engaged. The balmy night saw lots of people milling about in Toronto's theatre district, giving the evening a celebratory air.

We took our seats in the circular balcony of the packed hall directed by friendly ushers all elegantly dressed in black. TSO is a non profit organization which relies a lot on volunteers who are music aficionados and who get rewarded for their efforts, with concert tickets. The concert began on time and the whole experience mimicked western society - orderly and organized to the point of being rigid. It was also very accessible, with no associated elitism or snobbery, a North American hallmark. The orchestra was conducted with precision and the playing was technically impeccable. Underpinning the performance was a rigorous adherance to rules, tradition, and the sheets of music all of which is key to the synchronicity that a symphony symbolises. You could not hear a pin drop during the concert. When we were late reentering the hall after intermission, we were asked to sit out a piece for all of nine minutes. The focal instruments of the evening's concert were the violin and the Double Bass and the signature pieces were by contemporary American musician Edgar Meyer, who also played the Double Bass. They were superbly executed, even to my untrained ears. The orchestra of musicians were all top notch but they appeared to be tightly controlled. I am sure this varies with the temperament and stature of the conductor, and TSO's Peter Oundjian, who is well liked and popular, may be more open to input from his team of musicians, than some others.

The concert concluded to thunderous applause, which was unabashedly over the top, bordering on the sycophantic and lasting several minutes. It was amusing to watch the conductor and star musicians lap it all up, while lurching in and out of the hall for repeated bows. All in all it was a novel experience to watch the musicians play on cue, each with a distinct individual style amidst generally uniform movements and gestures. The two hours went by quickly. While I did miss the lack of predictability, minor chaos and improvisation that marks our Indian classical concerts, we could definitely take a page from the West for the organization, order and respect they bring even into art!

All in a Day’s Work

Community Development is a passion of ours at MCIS Language Services. This can mean many things. I am speaking specifically about the opportunity to teach people a skill and to provide them with gainful employment. We love nothing better. In the past couple of weeks alone, we have recruited two full-time paid MBA interns from the Rotman School of Business, University of Toronto, two Coordinators, a couple of on-call back up assistants and several freelance interpreters and translators. We will be hiring at least 3 more full time staff within the next couple of months, besides interns, volunteers and Consultants for short term projects. Our mission at MCIS is to keep jobs in Canada, to enrich our population with transferable skills that endure beyond a career with us and to bridge global language barriers with all our local talent of language professionals and back-end staff.

When resources are in short supply, you have to find creative ways to get work done. Over the years, we at MCIS have fine-tuned the art of recognising talent among people who have had difficulty finding work, recruiting them, building their skill level and making leaders out of them. Several of our staff came to Canada with experience and credentials they could not easily leverage because of their lack of Canadian experience. Today, they are Managers and Directors at MCIS. If as an employer you are short sighted enough not to be able to look past a person’s fluency in English, you lose out on many talented people with immense technical skills that are hard to find and replace. The win-win from all this is grateful, loyal and committed employees and an employer who does not have retention issues. Today we have an HR department which is busier than an employment agency, filling up paid and volunteer positions we need, as we scale up and expand to serve our ever growing roster of public and private sector clients. Thanks are due to our amazing HR folks, Maria Ramirez and Rafaela Marchi. To explore opportunities to volunteer, work or do a placement with us, please email info@mcis.on.ca or volunteer@mcis.on.ca

I am thinking of running for Mayor!

I am thinking of running for mayor. But wait - I would be too boring. No sharp elbows or wisecracking sarcasm. No hubris. No crack pipe smoking videos or outrageous ideas to finance a flagging City economy with a-hands-in- people's-pocket approach aka Casino revenues earned from constituents' gambling travails. I have never had the presence to shout curse words into 911 lines and bald facedly deny it ever happened. Or to verbally assault squeegee kids. No one could sustain interest enough to stay on my case and stay awake. So what's my cache? That I love my City, care enough to want to solve its problems and have some competence managing money, negotiating deals and applying the law? Precisely not the qualities that will get the attention of the masses, pre or post election as Mayor? I need a story and even more importantly, sound bytes. Not necessarily the kind that I flashed on twitter or that I had bulimia and alcohol problems, as is true of a couple of the 2013 New York City mayoral candidates, but that "I can stop the gravy train" as famously attributed to our dear illustrious Mayor Ford. This is because talk is cheap and does not have to actually mean anything. Thankfully we have a populace which is willfully blind to the "how" of bogus promises because they are mentally tired making ends meet and staying afloat. "Just tell me what I want to hear" they say, and "I will vote for you". Then do something scandalous and I will give you and the City my undivided attention. Do not try to reason with me or give me logical explanations. I don't have the bandwidth to stay on your message. I can focus on one thing and one thing alone.

Given this, if I do decide to run, I need a make-over. A propensity for putting my foot in my mouth, shooting from my hip, overruling democratically made decisions and stock phrases like "trim the fat", "leaner and meaner", "efficient and effective" and "measurable". I have to work on sanitizing myself of fuzzy words like "collaborative", "inclusive", "consultative" or "anti-oppressive". I had better start now. Refashioning my image, rehearsing the choice jargon, sharpening my elbows and getting in and out of embarrassing situations does not come easy to those who lack the natural talent for it. I need the time before the next elections to rehabilitate myself and to build the right kind of brand equity. Oh yes, I will hire Lindsay Logan as my coach!

At a Gurudwara in Croydon

I believe in the power of prayer. I love chanting too. I used to pray to alleviate anxiety or towards some such end, but now just to quieten the mind and to experience that contemplative state that prayer brings on. It's a first person encounter with my own divinity. I am not partial to any religion or God in form or formless. I love the ritual of prayer, so wherever i am in the world I chant the Vishnu Sahasranaman and Lakshmi Ashtothram everyday, read Mother Mary Novenas on Wednesday, visit the Durga temple on Tuesdays, fast to be in communion with Shirdi Baba on Thursdays and practice yoga while observing my sensations and responses to this worldly life at least 5 days a week. I often get teased that I have left out several religions and need to increase the diversity of my contemplative practices.

Recently, I had the opportunity to do just that. I was visiting a close friend in the UK and accompanied her to a Gurudwara to mark the second anniversary of her father's passing. At 8:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning, we drove twenty minutes to one in the town of Croydon, a suburb in Greater London.

With few people around at that early hour, we reached the modest premises in 15 minutes and squeezed our car into the tiny 4 car lot. We covered our heads with our scarves and scaled a small stairway to reach the meditation hall. We were beckoned at the entrance by the mellifluous voices of the Shabad Kirtan singers rendering the verses from Sikh religious texts in song, interspersing them with interpretation for advice on worldly living. They played the tabla and harmonium, as they sang. In that long hall covered with immaculate white sheets devotees sat on the floor with eyes closed taking in this divine music. The sound had a simple purity to it in the silence of the morning when not much life had stirred in this part of the world. We were among the privileged twenty or so, blessed to be in this place at this time. We walked the length of the hall to where the holy book of Sikhs the Granth Sahib lay covered in a bright brocaded turquoise cloth. We bowed our heads and made an offering into the collection box located in front of the altar, as is customary, and then sat among the women on the left hand side of the room.

The singing had a light classical quality and the cadences varied with the verses, some slow and melodic perfectly synchronized with the harmonium, others fast paced and rhythmic with greater emphasis on the tabla. I had listened to this music often in the Yogi Bhajan inspired kundalini yoga teacher training course I had attended. Awash in this music, I was transported to a place of serenity and mental quietitude. I envied the Sikhs who had grown up in this religion, where the worship was marked with simplicity, was devoid of rituals and included such divine music. I could have remained there for hours! Alas the service ended in about half an hour with blessings, giving of thanks to the many volunteers and patrons and distribution of a sweet made from wheat, and oozing ghee.

After the service we were invited to partake of a simple yet delicious meal in the dining hall located downstairs. The volunteers who had prepared it served us as if we were cherished guests in their home. Cardamom flavoured masala chai complemented a meal consisting of fresh hot rotis, potatoes cooked in a tomato and curry sauce and vermicelli sweet pudding, all of which had been prepared earlier that morning by the volunteers. We left there with a smile on our faces, our bellies full and our spirits lifted. I have now added the Gurudwara as another venue for contemplation. I only wish I had not waited 50 years to visit one. I urge you all to visit one if you have not!