Tuesday, May 12, 2026

About books

This has been another spring of books.  This time, fiction.

If you ever doubted that racism existed in the West, forgot what living in a colonial regime or being treated as sub human because of your religion or gender identity feels like, then I have a few to recommend that are excellent reminders.  I believe it is important to remember so we can viscerally relate even better to untold atrocities being perpetuated today against colonised peoples living in apartheid states and know that our own privileges are being rolled back even as we speak.  We are being socially engineered to be in a perpetual state of distraction so we don’t meaningfully comprehend that the distribution of wealth is a zero sum game.  There cannot be rich people if the majority are not poor. My book recommendations include

Arundhati Roy’s Mother Mary Says to Me and The Ministry of Utmost Unhappiness

Kiran Desai’s The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny

EM Forster’s Passage to India

A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth

Even PG Wodehouse’s Jeeves books, two of which I read are replete with the privilege of the feudal class – though I read them for their levity

Tan Twe Eng’s – The Garden of the Evening Mists and The Gift of Rain (in progress)

These are books written by extraordinary writers so you don’t have to read them to feel virtuous but to be enthralled by the magical wordsmanship and the deep thoughts and emotions they provoke.

No I don't have a Kindle.  I dont have the luxury of time, with my work, managing finances and other such admin, cooking, cleaning, eating and sleeping, to sit with a book.  I love walking.  And I listen to audiobooks at 1.5 speed, as I walk.  I do like to support independent book stores.  On the next street over, in London, we have one called Broadway Market Book Store run by two young men and that's where I order and buy books.   I like reading a physical book in the morning with my coffee.  After that, I turn on my Audiobooks. I borrow them on my Canada library card, which is such an awesome privilege.  I can download upto 50 books (I think) on my card.  I usually have 3 or 4 since I am consuming them quite fast right now.  After Inheritance of Loss, I was in the mood for some light reading and I read 3 PG Wodehouse last week alone.  After that I read Albert Camus' Stranger and I just finished re-reading Arvind Adiga's The White Tiger (re-read).  I was in a rut re reading (fiction) until last year when I discovered Murakami.  Now, I cannot seem to get enough.  I am preoccupied with solitude.  I love my aloneness and love reliving passages from the books I read.  

I actually love the themes/genres of all manner of books. However, with audio books you cannot get too picky.  So I download all the award winners and classics to get a peak into the minds of great writers. In the last two weeks, I read another book by EM Forster "Where Angels Fear to Tread", then Kiran Desai's "Inheritance of Loss", then the PG, then Camus and now Aravind Adiga's The White Tiger.  I am reading the physical book "The Gift of Rain" by Tan Twang Eng.  I have downloaded Ondaatje, Rushdie (I dont know if I can stomach his writing) and another book of short stories by Canadian authors covering its entire wide landscape.  It is called Across Canada by Stories.  I like books with geographic opulence that are atmospheric.  Eng's books have that quality.   - descriptive of mountains, misty views, Japanese gardens.  

Not exactly on that theme, I read this poem that I liked very much in Eng's above book today.  It is by Solomon Bloomgarden translated from Hebrew
IN the blossom-land JapanSomewhere thus an old song ran.
Said a warrior to a smith
Hammer me a sword forthwith.
Make the blade
Light as wind on water laid.
Make it long
As the wheat at harvest song.
Supple, swiftAs a snake, without rift,
Full of lightnings, thousand-eyed!
Smooth as silken cloth and thinAs the web that spiders spin.
And merciless as pain, and cold.""
On the hilt what shall be told?""
On the sword's hilt, my good man
"Said the warrior of Japan,"Trace for me
A running lake, a flock of sheepAnd one who sings her child to sleep."

When I re-read books I find I have remembered them quite differently from how they are!  Either my memory is awful or I have evolved to understand their essence better.  
As for the books I read before these, Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth was one such. I remember that this book came out almost 30 years ago.  It is set in the early 1950s where the colonial vestige still pervaded middle class lives in Calcutta, Benares and mythical places around there.  It is about a family trying to get a girl married, her suitors and who she chooses to end up with.  It is breezy and gives you a peak into a different era.  I absolutely love EM Forster's writing.  It is so insightful and deep.  His "Where Angels Fear to Tread" is set in Italy.  The way he describes different cultures and the time, place and people who inhabit them is quite wonderful.   

I am trying to write everyday. I got myself a substack account and started posting my musings there.  No one has looked at or commented on any of my posts so it is for an audience of one - for all intents and purposes.  

I love all kinds of writing but dont read thrillers and mysteries anymore.  Maybe its because BBC Crime Shows have spoilt me. I prefer watching them, to reading thrillers. 

Anyway, cheerio, it was nice spending this late hour writing this!  Going to sleep now.  

I look forward to more reading, walking, meditating and revelling in aloneness! 


Monday, May 4, 2026

I collect sad stories...

I have always collected stories.

Not the triumphant kind. Not the neat, redemptive arcs that resolve themselves into something reassuring. I seem to gather the sad ones—the stories of vulnerable people, of quiet suffering, of lives suspended in difficult in-betweens.


I don’t seek them out with any sense of pleasure. There is no satisfaction in someone else’s pain, no secret relief that their life is harder than mine. That’s not it.


If anything, I grew up believing the opposite—that noticing suffering was a kind of virtue.

I was an idealistic child. The sort who instinctively sided with the underdog, who believed fairness mattered, who thought the world could—and should—be better. That instinct shaped my choices.


Looking back, I can trace this habit to my childhood dinner table.

We told stories.

Not about ourselves, necessarily—but about others. Someone’s misfortune. Someone’s hardship. Someone’s bad turn in life. These stories were shared, examined, discussed. They became a kind of social currency—a way of making sense of the world, perhaps even a way of expressing empathy.


My parents were, in many ways, deeply compassionate people. They helped others within their means. They treated people with dignity. They showed kindness not as performance, but as practice.

They walked the talk.

But somewhere along the way, I absorbed a quieter lesson: talking about suffering was, meaningful.

That bearing witness—retelling, reflecting—was a form of engagement.

In college, I flirted with the idea of becoming an activist. I joined the rural development cell. I imagined a life that pushed against systems, that questioned norms.

But there were boundaries—spoken and unspoken.

Would my father have accepted a life that veered too far from the expected path of stability, marriage, children? Probably not. Activism, in its rawest form, belonged to “someone else.” We could admire it. We could discuss it. But living it was another matter.


So I stayed where I was—talking about inequality, about injustice, about how things should be different.

Without quite knowing how to make them so.


After marriage, something shifted.

My husband did not like sad stories.

He avoided films with unhappy endings. He did not want to dwell on real-life misery. And so, our conversations adjusted. Dinner tables became lighter, safer. We spoke about pleasant things. We chose sitcoms, upbeat podcasts, romantic comedies.

We curated a life that, for the most part, avoided prolonged engagement with discomfort.


However, he wholeheartedly supported my decision to study law.  That decision has helped me choose a meaningful, socially conscious path.


It has given me freedom.

Freedom to act, to engage, to step into harder spaces.


So, while I may not have gone to protests, I have not stayed adjacent to change, but I am fully inside it in my role managing MCIS.  


Even today, the stories from childhood have never left me.  With my mother and my sisters, they remain central. If one of us hears something—a difficult story, a troubling situation—we share it and act on it to the extent we can. 

Today, in London, visiting my daughter,  my life’s work at MCIS took new meaning as I heard three stories of distress, situations MCIS lends a supporting hand to in Canada connecting people in meaningful ways so the vulnerable can seek redress.  


These stories of “immigrant” distress came from a Hindu priest I visit on Sundays. He lives in a homeless shelter in London and manages a small temple. I bring him food; He shares what he sees and we have a quiet exchange.


Today, there were three stories.

The first was about a young man staying temporarily in the temple. He had come to the UK on a study permit, completed his education, and then experienced a psychotic break. He has schizophrenia now. He cannot work. He has a visa, but no life he can meaningfully inhabit with no organizational or community support.  

His family is in Sri Lanka—his mother and sisters—watching him from afar, unable to comprehend from a distance, his circumstance.  So he sits. In a small room.
Sleeping. Waiting. Existing between systems.  Frozen in time.


The second story was about a couple who had overstayed their visit visa.

Eighteen years ago.

They are still here—without status in menial jobs at a butcher’s, unable to leave. They have a child in India, raised entirely by grandparents. That child is now eighteen.

They have never held him since he was born.

They have watched him grow up through screens.

And now, after nearly two decades, they want to bring him to the UK on a study permit—so they can finally meet their own child.  They don’t know where to turn for help, so they come to the temple to pray and seek the priest’s advice! 

It is difficult to know where to place judgment in a story like this.

What does sacrifice look like?
What does abandonment look like?
And when do the two become indistinguishable?


The third story was about a woman in her mid-sixties.  She endured an abusive marriage since her youth—arriving in London only to be beaten, controlled, diminished.  No English, no confidence. She raised two sons.

Her husband died.  The house was left to the sons.

And they turned her out.

She now lives in a homeless shelter—depressed, exhausted, untethered from the very life she built.v she too seeks refuge at the temple. 

I came home carrying these stories.  Knowing that MCIS interpreters navigate these difficult spaces in Canada.  They are true heroes and their personal stories of resilience have also inspired me. There is so much more to do!


I am grateful my parents set me on this path of collecting stories to instil in me a strong sense of social responsibility

Because stories, especially the sad ones, have a strange power.


They can move us into action.