Remembering my dad on Dec 4, 2014

My dad died ten years ago, today. I remember him for the wonderful man he was. He is still my guiding light and if I am well and happy it is because I believe his hand and caring continue to guide me, as do the principles he lived by.

Everyone looked up to my dad for his liberal views, scrupulous honesty and civic mindedness. He raised a poor young boy, Thiraviam, with the same love and caring as his own children. He abhorred inequality based on caste and gender. He did however struggle with his conditioned responses to maintain an image for the world. While, he may not have totally embraced us going against the grain and marrying across caste lines, he was open-minded enough to reflect on his conflicts.

When it came to honesty, he was never conflicted. He never told a lie and would not take anything that he believed he did not rightfully earn. He never twisted facts or rationalised to suit his purpose. I still remember the many gift hampers he would turn away from the door every Diwali. Among the elite set in Mumbai it is customary for wealthy patrons of the banks to ply Managers with gift hampers. I don’t ever recall seeing what one contained because they never made it through our door.

And boy was he civic minded! Every day there was a letter to this or that authority, about a pothole, an open transmission line and some such safety hazard or suggestions for more streamlined operations of some administrative branch or a damning commentary on some activity that ripped off the consumer!

During his last days, he lost interest in his favourite pass-times, reading the newspaper and balancing his cheque book! However, his values remained. I still recall the moment when he clutched my hand and said “Konthe (baby) always keep your word!”