Monday, January 6, 2014

Sunday reflections - 4 - The Ordinariness of My Life


Yesterday’s reflection was on the ordinariness of my life. Every day is mercifully the same. I wake up each day to the sound of the alarm or the husband at 4:30 a.m., and reluctantly make my way to the washroom, aware of each step I take, of the sensations of sleep in every limb, the cold air on my skin. I am aware of the conflict in my being, the part that wants to get back into the womb like warmth of the mattress. The moment passes and I make my way to the kitchen. I boil a kettle of water, peeking out to check out the bevy of options offered by our unpredictable weather conditions. If there is not much snow on the ground and the temperature is mild, contrary to predictions, I walk with a spring in my step to put on the kettle. I wash down a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar and honey with a cup of soothing warm water and brew a fresh pot of coffee. I steam idlis in the rice cooker for breakfast and pack our lunch. My first stop being at the yoga centre, I do not eat or drink but chat with my husband as he does.

We leave together at 5:30, him to work and me to the Vedic Cultural Centre for yoga with three or four other loyal folks who are as fanatically committed to the practice as I am. By this time, I have “WhatsApped” my daughter to check in with her in London, reviewed my personal and office emails and facebook updates, and have been reassured that everything is business as usual. After our 75 minute practice of hatha/kundalini yoga and pranayama we chit chat usually complaining about the weather, since it can never ever be perfect, and then make our way to our respective lives. I take on the highway heavy with traffic and alternate listening to Carnatic music or talk radio or chatting with my mom or my two sisters, if they are available. I catch up on all the happenings across the globe and visualize myself in sunny Chennai or Dubai with great longing. On a rare occasion I catch up for a chat with my little girl and these instances being few and far between, kick the day’s rating up several notches on the ordinariness scale.

At the office I change into work clothes and begin my day with coffee and breakfast, as I am usually in before the others. I review my calendar, read my emails and know that this is going to be yet another uneventful day with no life altering moments, no heroic acts, just every- day transactions similar to the ones from the day before. Ever so often when I hear leading lawyers wax prolific about injustices that they are taking on, I notice my mind flicker with a tinge of restlessness craving the adrenalin rush and sensationalism brought on by high profile cases, casting doubts over my choice to run a social enterprise and act as legal counsel doing mostly solicitor work. In those moments I question what it is that brought me to this place at this time, when I could be elsewhere. But as I observe this urge without judgment, I usually calm right down and fully embrace the tedium of yet another day of repetitive activity.

The amazing thing is the more I pay close attention to the everyday routine of my existence, without purposiveness or strategy, I focus better on everything I do and find that each moment brings forth a bouquet of small surprises. It may be new discoveries at the morning yoga session, of the possibilities of mind and body, or breakthroughs when interacting with someone who is hard to communicate with. As I keep myself open to all possibilities without fear or censure, I experience amazing coincidences without any effort or willfulness on my part. And all I really do is observe and revel in the sounds of chatter and laughter around me and give thanks for the moments that roll one into the other bringing forth the state of gratitude I am in. While I love my many interactions with friends over lunches and dinners I equally enjoy my solitude and it is truly the ordinariness of my existence that brings forth for me the joy of living each day!




No comments: