Witnessing grace

Recently, I encountered unparalleled grace and humour from a very young person under tragic circumstances. This young man works with me and had just returned from parental leave. As his day to return to work neared he came in to see me to go over some housekeeping matters relating to his transition back in. On that day he gave me startling news that his mother who was palliative as a result of her cancer, had made the decision to end her pain and suffering. She was not yet 60 and had endured several treatments following her diagnosis two years ago. However, she had stopped responding to the treatment a few months ago and was in excruciating pain. The cancer had spread to her bones and she could not even lie down. Her pain was not being adequately managed at home. But, she did not want to go in to the hospital since the closest one was an hour from her home in the country, and she feared she may die alone since it would be a while before anyone could get to her if the end was nearing. She had decided to exercise her right to end her life and to do it at home surrounded by her family. My co-worker relayed to me that they were finalising the paperwork because she was in a hurry to exit her pain wracked body. He thought it may happen that same week since she was getting impatient.

We got an email from him after that saying his mother had exercised her right to die and passed away peacefully in her home as planned.

This week he returned to work. When we met I hugged him close and asked him how he was. He said he was calm and the aftermath of making arrangements for visiting family members was more stressful that the death itself. Seeing her inanimate body lying there he had had a sense of closure from knowing, that was no longer his mother. He then said the following with a crooked smile. "My stepfather asked her in her dying moments to accept Christ as her saviour and she nodded her consent. However, I don’t know if she meant it, because she also agreed that she would come back in her next birth as a mother to me and a grandmother to my son! The two concepts don’t really go together do they?" I was just astonished by his maturity, humour and grace dealing with this immense loss of the only parent he has ever known.