Let us call it a spade – Lessons for work and life from gardening

If any of you are deluded into believing I am gardener, let me dispel that notion right now. I am a lucky person who came upon a nice piece of land which was once a very nice garden. However, I received it quite like a monkey given a garland, with utter disregard for its beauty and value, ignorant and unschooled to take on the responsibility. I knew not the difference between annuals and perennials let alone the subtleties of nurturing and cherishing a garden. I did not get the bother. Why would people slavishly devote so much time to a pastime which meant naught, since everything disappeared in the winter anyway and you had to start all over every spring? I just did not comprehend why anyone would invest so much time,money and effort especially in annuals which were then replanted year after year. Or the hours of backbreaking toil, weeding, when even the most stubborn among them, disappeared in the winter? The race against those weeds is often a losing expedition, since they grow a couple of inches everyday during our short summers?

Now, I finally get it. And what that means is that I get the rhythms of this country with its four seasons, the cadence with which life alters and the importance for us of aligning with these rhythms to enjoy life and nurture one’s soul here. It’s almost a study in Eckhart Tolle. With the garden you have to be in the “now”. But the personal growth that has brought on this realisation, has been a painful one full of bloopers.

When we bought our house, it came with a landscaped garden which had a collection of wonderful plants well suited to and aligned with the contours of the land, the soil quality and the sun exposure in different parts of our front and back yards. Sadly, I had taken a scant interest in plants until then and knew not the difference between the good ones and weeds. I realised quickly that I had to work hard to keep it in its pristine form. It was not long before I saw the land as an adversary which had set out to embarrass me with overgrown weeds. I struggled with feelings of resentment for all the work I had brought upon myself. Finally I decided I needed some help. So I hired a gardener to clean the garden of weeds and he simply went over it all with a rototiller. He was not going to spend the hours that I was not willing to spend on it. He took my objective quite literally and just wiped out all plants, good and bad. I still remember it as the Friday massacre. I had a frantic phone call from my mom who was visiting from India. Heart pounding, I could hear her wail at the other end of the phone, “who are these guys and why are they killing all your lovely plants”. I rushed home but not on time to witness the carnage. By the time I arrived, it was all over, swept clean and stark, no sign of the beauty and grace that had thrived amidst those weeds.

A garden is a doozy. It takes, muscle, will, intelligence and lots of knowledge to take on plants. You are like a teacher managing a class of juveniles. You can bring them in line and get them to behave and realise their potential. But it takes care, individual attention, patience, time, knowledge, intelligence and lots of good intentions. A quiet mind and patience are the meditative elements that allow one to persist despite the critters that sting you, the dirt that gets into your hands, when gloves just will not do it, and when the sweat pours down the body through back breaking work. Like everything else it is about building a sound relationship and gaining intimate knowledge of your ally, the land, and adversaries, those stubborn weeds. Just two years ago I discovered the spade. Wow what a difference it makes to clearing and weeding. I had been struggling with lesser tools. So using the right tools is key to taking on this challenge.

Hidden in every garden are some wonderful life lessons. There is an awareness of the cycle of life as beauty re-emerges every spring and the summer when the plants are in full bloom. And then there is an appreciation of the wonderful worker bees of nature, the pollinators going about their duties as karma yogis and the birds that bring it all alive with unselfconscious song.
Work and life lessons I have gained:

I must,
Use the right tools to take on any challenge
Immerse myself in knowledge
Understand my allies and manage them wisely
Understand my adversaries even better
Ignore the gross and understand the subtleties
Give myself up to the “now”
Know that change is inevitable and embrace it
Trust that renewal is always around the corner
Engage in hard work which pays off in spades
Realise that when it all seems bleak and futile there will always be a bloom bringing on hope and renewal

Tongue in cheek 2 - Mom needs knee surgery

My mom needs knee surgery. She has the forbearance of Job and never once complains about the constant pain she is in. This is a problem, because as we all know, the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Her pain must have escalated beyond a certain level of tolerance because she is now talking about getting knee surgery. No laughing matter and a bit concerning given we want no complications. However, as I am learning to see humour in all situations, I thought I would relay the conversations we have had but with the greatest of love for Amma.

So she went to doctor number #1. He took one look at her x-rays and said he would give her a package deal and that she was making the right decision coming to him as he was an expert in these surgeries having studied abroad. But "what about my bone deficiency due to Paget's" my mother spluttered? To which he nodded reassuringly - "don't worry it will be fine". But would it? Given he got to pocket a cool couple of lakhs? We needed a second opinion and went to the next one who said someone by the name of the first doctor has consulted him about my mom's chart and also assisted him in surgeries. Really? So this was our man! He was slightly more pricey - but then he seemed the doctor of doctors - so maybe he was the one?! He also quoted a package deal, smiled reassuringly and did a great sales job. Amma swore he would be her surgeon. Except my sister decided to do some sleuthing and found out our first doctor knew nothing of this man and had never consulted him!

The plot having thickened thus, Amma was a bit disenchanted. So she called her friend and neighbour who has just come out of surgery. I then called Amma to find out the final verdict. She sounded triumphant and said "Globus it is! The patient gets delivered excellent food in the room, the guests can eat in the five star cafeteria downstairs, the room comes nicely fitted with all amenities and the whole atmosphere is like somewhere abroad". "But Amma, what about the doctor?" I queried. To which she said "Oh he is a North Indian with impressive degrees. I am sure he will be fine" (Are we trusting North Indian doctors more now?)Ever the practical one, Amma had decided that she just needed to choose based on the things she could control. She definitely had a point. Knee surgeries are where the money's at. Who can tell competence through all that sales talk?! What more could I say?

Tongue in cheek series 1 - My close encounter with a bodycam"

As I am learning to lighten up here is the first in my tongue in cheek series

Ok so I have lead feet. I may have pressed a little hard on the brake preventing the car from rolling to a complete stop. But only just about. I was coming off the ramp still mumbling profanities at the man who had cut me off as I had attempted to cross over two lanes to the exit ramp, which I then barely made short of a collision with another unsuspecting vehicle,… when it happened!

Back up to how the day had begun. Given the late movie that I had indulged in the previous night, I had not rolled out of bed in great form. To add to that, no yoga and no coffee yet. Showered, but bleary eyed I was not about to impress anyone with my sunny personality, let alone the cop who came out of nowhere, smacking his lips at being able to meet his day's quota so easily. What a disaster!

I don’t trust the men in blue. They are always up to something. Lurking around on side streets with their radar guns, looking through binoculars or worse yet, as in this case, stopping you smack in the middle of your miserable morning with a body-cam strapped to them. I must say this man was easy on the eyes, young, strapping and nicely tanned with strong arms befitting a person hired to maintain law and order with those errant wild things that pass off as young men these days. But me? And on the worst of days and also on camera? I nearly reached for an object to throw at him for not picking a more convenient time, when in a deep voice he said “Mam I have a video camera on me and you engaged in a traffic infraction.” Duh, what? My dull brain took a moment to register as I tried to lip read to help my brain process. “Yes mam, see that stop sign there, well you failed to come to a complete halt.” I wanted to stomp my feet, through a tantrum and scream “I am not dressed to be caught on camera you dumbass”, when I restrained myself and sweetly smiling for the camera, said through gritted teeth “I have driven this route for 15 years and have never failed to stop..”

He pointed to his camera , daring me to say another word, and asked for my identification papers. I reached for my purse and gave him my license and insurance, still saccharine sweet to be caught on camera doing the right thing! Who knew I may be hailed the poster woman for how to behave when caught on police body-cam - the fully cooperative citizen with utter regard for the men in blue. I was drifting into a fantasy where I saw officers huddling over and picking mine out as the winning-est recording following this body cam blitz, to justify their intrusive exercise with the naysayers, and the new Chief of Police holding a special recognition ceremony for me for my model behaviour..when a nicely muscled hand gave me back my papers rudely snapping me out of my reverie. “$110? What? This is a highway robbery”, I muttered still cloyingly sweet curbing all instincts to gun down the road in defiance. Body-cams be damned. They had taken away from me the pleasure of getting really mouthy and obnoxious with cops. What will they do next to curb my freedom of expression?!